Yesterday I took my three kids to a “super shopping center.” It was just as traumatic as you might imagine. Normally I do all I can to limit taking all three on excursions such as this because Littlest has a very hard time with the concept of “not getting anything.” We practice, role-model, get mean, cajole, the whole parenting bag of tricks. It never goes smoothly. Yesterday was no different.
Now I realize that there are some tag surfers sorely disappointed out there, but what can I say, I pander to the baser human elements.
I was surfing Reddit.com today and found out that in the interest of science, poor astronauts have been given the challenge of having sex out in space. Funny, I always figured the only limitation to outer space sex was having the camera operator use one of those “soft-focus” lenses. (Was that just dating myself back to the Star Trek era with Captain Kirk’s sex-capades? Oops.) However, all is not just a simple act in space and those poor folks were team players – just for the betterment of scientific research! According to Which Sex Positions Are Possible In Space? NASA knows… not all that works here on Earth works out there. I know that the Kama Sutra gives the impression that the sky is the limit (well, your physical strength, prowess, and stamina is really the limit), but apparently the edge of the Earth’s gravitational field pretty much is the limit to such things as the boring-old-but-gets-the-job-done Missionary Style position.*
My favorite quote from the article is this paragraph: “Only four positions were found possible without ‘mechanical assistance’. The other six needed a special elastic belt and inflatable tunnel, like an open-ended sleeping bag.” Hmm, really makes it seem oh so romantic out there. I mean, no candlelight, no wine goblets (but you do get your booze in a squeezy type gizmo like a grownup juicebox), no spontaneity – unless you pack around your inflatable tunnel. Hey, now there’s a marketable item! Also, did you know that there are actually only 10 sexual positions? Hmm, that’s not what I read here….
So, before you decide to spend all your spare millions and sign up for one of those trips to outer space, you might want to sign on for a bout of abstinence as well. ‘Cause it sounds like you have a lot more than just your physical appearance either working for or against you out there.
*Note: in the interest of making my little missives as authentic as possible, I do try to actually do a bit of research on these little ditties. It gives me a brief respite from the kiddos. (Of course, it draws their attention faster than the sound of M&Ms being poured into a dish, but I digress.) Anyhoo, have you ever actually tried to read scientific publications? Especially if you aren’t particularly scientific? Yeah, it really gave me the foundation of a migraine, let me tell you. So, I’m writing along and I think to myself, “hey, what’s the name for the edge of a gravitational field?” Funny little question. I spent some serious googling time, only to finally give up and IM my techno-daddy for some help. He, of course, found the answer. Which both pissed me off and made me thrilled to be married to him yet again. So, in case you are wondering (like I was) the edge of the Earth’s gravity field is called the “fuzzy boundary” and here is a great (although partially mind-numbing article if you are like me) on the science of figuring out such things.