Here’s a taste of my recent performance at Mom Shop 2. Hope you like it.
When I was young and had time to think of such things, I liked to think of what I would do when I was an adult.I was going to sip coffee in Paris, perhaps infiltrate the KGB as a secret agent.I would live in an ultra modern high rise overlooking Central Park and tempt fate by driving a roadster while wearing long scarves.I would be beautiful and vivacious and stunning to behold.It didn’t really work out that way, now did it?Uhuh, I stand before you, living the wild life I dreamed of:wife, mother of three, driving a minivan no less.Let’s just say that my life hasn’t turned out quite like I had planned it.Three kids will do that to you.
First off, let me just state this simple fact: I have a big butt. We pear-shaped gals have lots going on in the butt-department, and not so much in the boob-department. For me, this has long been a source of major emotional angst. I’m a white girl – white girls are not supposed to have big butts, no matter how much Sir Mix-A-Lot likes them. In my little social circles, a white girl with a big butt is, well, the butt of the jokes.
I have two choices: move to a more ethnic neighborhood, or accept that this is the shape my particular chromosomal arrangement gave me and move on emotionally. Frankly, I like my house. So, perhaps my New Year’s Resolution should be to drop 15 pounds and find a way to be happy with the way I look – including my butt.