Please Send All the Fat, Sugar and Salt

I’m having one of those days. You know, the kind where you find yourself craving all the fat, sugar, and salt in the world. In other words, you desire an opportunity to eat your feelings. Or chips, salsa, and guacamole chased by a margarita, whatever.

It is seriously not my finest moment. Well, last night when I forgot to get Littlest from his friend’s house until 30 minutes later…that was probably a really not-fine moment. But today is ranking up there too. Continue reading

The Demise of the F-Bomb

Yesterday was a day of many pilgrimages for me. If it’s ever taken you eight trips to get your reusable grocery bags from your house into an actual place that takes your money, you know what kind of day of pilgrimages I’m talking about.

It all started innocently enough. Mister Soandso texted me, “Get OJ.” I texted back, “Sure. Anything besides oj?” but because my phone is “smarter” than me, it wanted to send “Sure. Anything besides ok?” like eighteen freaking times. Thankfully, I noticed. But still. A smart phone is supposed to make communication smarter, not harder. Continue reading

When You’re Scratchy

Hi folks. How have you been? I hope well. In fact, I hope your dial has gone far enough past well to put you into the fantastic land. Because who doesn’t want to be fantastic? Me, I’ve been fine. Could have been finer, but could have also been lots worse, so I’m not complaining. I have, however, been more scratchy than usual.

In case you are wondering, it isn’t uncommon for me to be scratchy. Continue reading

Things That Make Me Snicker

Hello all you beautiful people! How are you? Me, I’m doing all right but I am a bit sleep deprived. Which, in my little corner of the world, translates into rum-dumb silliness. Or, in other words, goofy things make me snicker.

Things like people’s names. For example, I recently heard of a gentleman with a first name of Richard. And a surname of Wisher. And he goes by the nickname for Richard. Let’s hope  if he’s married, his wife doesn’t get mail addressed to Mrs. blah blah.  Continue reading

French Pedicures Are A Slippery Slope

If you ever see me with a French pedicure, I’m being held against my will and am trying to signal you to call the police. And I don’t just mean the fashion police either. Whenever I see someone with a French pedicure, I’m pretty sure I need to stage some sort of intervention.  After all, they do look like a call for help. (I’ve never seen male feet with one, but there’s no call to be sexist about bad ideas, right?) Continue reading

Context and Perspective: Not Just for John Hughes

I’ve written before about being mistaken as my kids’ grandmother instead of mother. When it’s a kid that does it, I don’t get mad. After all, I seem to recall as a high school sophomore thinking the college-aged kids must be really mature and have their life all planned out as I served them post-parting-hangover food. Obviously, one’s own age and experiences plays a role in such perceptions.

An older gentleman who had a “grandpa” like status in my childhood had two sayings he was fond of: “Hair and brains don’t mix” and “Age ain’t nothin’ but mind over matter; if you don’t mind, it don’t matter.” Yes, he was bald as a cue-ball and a very fun-loving young-at-heart kind of soul. He may have missed a few lessons on grammar and proper language, but he was spot-on about the role of context and perspective.

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Random Bits About My Crazy Train

It’s Friday and I’m uber busy getting reading for two major things I have happening this weekend for work. So, of course, I am procrastinating. Why is that? Am I the only one? Please tell me I’m not.

I seriously have a bucket-load of crap to get done before 4:15. And I just opened my cabinet and thought about which coffee cups I never use anymore and could donate to Good Will. What the eff brain? The only thing that stopped me was the realization I don’t have a box big enough to hold them all.

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