Pausing to Breathe

Fall arrived up here on the hill and with it a lashing rain against my window, blowing the leaves to the ground. I don’t mind. This is what fall does — it reminds us of how the winds blow, how life is a series of impermanent moments.

But as the rain rattles against the glass, I am mostly glad for this quiet moment coaxing me to just sit.

To sit and breathe in life and this moment and the chance to pause.

I turned 47 two weeks ago and I still haven’t taken the time to thank folks for wishing me a happy birthday. It isn’t as if I wasn’t raised to have manners. But at this moment, manners are right up there with mammograms and dusting…I just don’t have a spare second to think about them. (Except, of course, I obviously have a wee bit of energy available for feeling guilty about not doing them.)

I want to pause a moment, and think about that day. It was my birthday, after all – celebrating the fact that I made it around the sun one more time. It was a pretty good day.

It started with brunch out with my family. The food was good but left uncaptured via Imager or any other social media, I’m afraid. You’ll just have to imagine, if you will, a fabulous mug of hot chocolate complete with a mountain of whipped cream and sprinkles. Not too shabby of a start to a day, if I may say so myself. (I only had a sip of Middlest’s mug. Boring coffee for me, alas.)

Then I headed home and spent the remainder of the weekend painting.

Up and down a ladder, bending, stooping, and stretching…all served to remind me that yes, there have been 46 full rotations of the sun in my past and they all add up to aching joints.

I did, however, refuse to make my own birthday dinner and we went out for a margarita the size of my head and a plate of enchiladas. The guacamole alone made it a festive celebration.

Thinking back to that weekend’s painting job and then the prep for last week’s pre-Halloween party, I’d have to say I’m getting a good start on my 47th year. Projects, parties, good food, a clean house, and not nearly enough sleep. Of course, the best part is that the insane heart palpitations of September have calmed down and so that’s good.

It’s those weird heart non-event-events that lead me to sitting here, pausing and just breathing.

Breathing. In. Out. My heart beating in a absolutely boringly unnoticeable way…

Yes. Today is a good day to be here, pausing and breathing.


2 thoughts on “Pausing to Breathe

  1. happy belated birthday dear one and may your heart continue to beat slowly, calmly and filled with love!

  2. Sometimes that’s the best. Just breathing, just being, for here, for now. Thatnks for sharing this.

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