On Being Fearfully Quiet

Over in my drafts folder, I have so many posts in various levels of completion that I’m beginning to look like a cyber-hoarder. But it isn’t some hoarding tendency that has led to all these started but unfinished posts. It’s fear.

Back in the dark ages when I first started blogging, the world seemed a bit more safe than it does today. Well, not the world, per se, but the little world of blogging and sharing ideas via the internet. Obviously I know that is just my little myopic view of things and that for a bunch of folks, the internet has never really felt safe, but now lots of us are hitting “publish” with a bit of a squint and holding of breath.

Here is a short list, in no particular order, of the many things I’ve been tempted to publish a blog on, but didn’t.

Political candidates – both local and national. Voting rights. Police brutality. Racism. Violence against women. Female genital mutilation. Religious intolerance. Religion. Religious defenses for behavior I find abhorrent. Football. The role of sports in media and finance. NFL’s tax status. Video games. Misogyny. Gun violence.

Good grief, I could go on if I didn’t limit myself to just the blog posts languishing in my drafts folder.

Somedays I just want to cry over the crazy out there.

Mostly I want to cry over the loss of our innocence. When Mister Soandso first started thinking about having a family, Columbine hadn’t happened yet. There were two World Trade Towers in the New York City skyline. Russia didn’t seem so freaking scary. The polar bears weren’t dying. The water wasn’t rising. The climate wasn’t changing this extremely. And people didn’t think it was okay to threaten others with torture and murder simply because they didn’t agree with them.

Years later, I have three children whose normal includes all sorts of things I can’t protect them from. And that includes the off-chance that violence will come close to home.

I miss my early years of blogging where I just made random observations and didn’t worry terribly much about what would happen after I pushed publish. But I do think about those things these days and after I think a bit longer, I let Monday or Friday turning into Tuesday or Saturday without even opening my laptop again.

I don’t know what tomorrow will be like. But I sure wish it could have more of what made yesterday seem so much better.

1 thought on “On Being Fearfully Quiet

  1. Well put. I feel the same way. Just this morning I was weighing whether or not I should make a post where as a couple of years ago I wouldn’t have thought anything about it other than to hit publish.

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