Vacation Not-Terribly Deep Thoughts

Hello there dear readers. I have been on vacation with limited wifi during which I spent about 45 seconds stressing about whether I would blog or not while camping. Since I’ve been absent here, I obviously found a coping strategy. (Hint: liquor and S’Mores are quite helpful stress relievers.)

While I was traipsing about the wilds of Oregon, a few things came to me that I thought I would share with you. If my list inspires you to comment, feel free to add your own observations in the comments. After all, I can’t be the only one who notices things about folks.

  1. If you pay a large amount of money to go to a museum and are getting instructions/information/cool facts and trivia about the museum contents, chances are quite good that there will be one person at the back of the group who loudly proclaims that s/he can’t hear the speaker and then proceed to have loud, complaint-filled conversations with everyone near them, thus ensuring no one can hear the instructions/information/cool facts and trivia.
  2. Shushing some people is as effective as single-ply toilet paper is for extreme mucus sneezes.
  3. When dining out, the odds that one member of your party’s food will be either late arriving to the table or made incorrectly are in direct proportion to that same person’s hunger or irritability.
  4. The item you need out of a suitcase will be in the last suitcase you search.
  5. Unless, of course, it is still sitting on the counter back home.
  6. Sand gets everywhere. Literally. *ouch*
  7. The majority of public bathroom users are unfamiliar with the notion of “the curtesy flush” — especially if their last meal included some sort of toxicity.
  8. Everything tastes better cooked over a campfire. The amount of time required to cook said item may be influential in this phenomenon.
  9. If the nearest passing lane is several miles ahead, the RV you are following will be experiencing difficulty going more than 35 miles an hour as well as not burning oil.
  10. Vacation, whether in a campsite or vacation home, is basically either prepping to eat, eating, cleaning up from eating.
  11. Sweatpants and yoga pants are vacationer’s dream attire. *see #10 above
  12. The amount of laundry needing to be done after a vacation in no way relates to the amount of clothing actually taken on a vacation. The stuff multiplies in confined spaces, pinkie-swear.
  13. In spite of #12’s phenomenon, there will still be missing socks.
  14. Gas will always be cheaper at the station passed immediately after you fill up your tank.
  15. Not all Yelp-er’s assessments of “great coffee” match your own assessment of what constitutes even good coffee.
  16. If you want to keep kids happy on a vacation, sugar and water go a long ways to making things more palatable. (In our case, cookies and swimming pools.)
  17. You will watch bad tv on vacation if the opportunity presents itself.
  18. Travel shampoo/soap containers always leak. As do suntan lotion bottles.
  19. It’s best to clean refrigerator and empty garbages prior to leaving on vacation.
  20. Pets are very happy when you return from being vacation. This is very sweet until the cat is licking your head at 3 am. For an hour.

Have a great day folks. Many of us will spend it getting ready for school to start, making meals to share with friends and families. May whatever you do today be a great reminder that life is good, even with its minor irritations.