One of my little “features” which I’m sure makes me even nearer and dearer to Mister Soandso’s heart is the fact that I have a wee bit of trouble letting go of things. I’m not Obsessive Compulsive (at least, not to my knowledge) but there are times when something happens and I just can’t let go of it – regardless of the total irrationality of continuing to obsess about it.
Last night–and let’s be honest, this morning as well–I’ve been obsessively searching my house for a roll of duct tape.
Yes, I realize this is hedging towards “total nut-ball zone” but that’s how I am. I just can’t let go of certain things. And in this case, it’s the fact that I remember putting the roll of duct tape in the pantry and now it’s not there. It galls me that I’ve searched in every likely place no fewer than 8 times and the rest of the places somewhere between 3 and 5 times. To put this into perspective, this means I’ve repetitively looked on the same shelf, sorting through the same clear storage box, stacking the same rolls of clear packing tape, at least 8 times. And I can see in the box and all of its contents without touching it. Eight times, people. Eight times.
No where is that roll of tape to be found. And yet, in the words of my mother, the damn thing didn’t just sprout legs and walk away. So here I am, on my hands and knees peering beneath the couch and chairs, sifting through backpacks, opening cupboards again and again.
I just can’t let it go.
This is the same peccadillo that made me stop balancing the checkbook and hand that job over to Mister. I just figure and figure and refigure until I drive everyone nearly as crazy as I am.
I’m not sure what has led me to this place of cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs, but I’m afraid that it’s getting worse as the number of people who interact in my little world has increased over time. Add to this the specter of my late grandmother’s Alzheimer’s/dementia and I’ve got a real rosy future ahead of me.
How about you? Do you have your thing? That thing that just gets you stuck into neutral with a broken transmission? Please tell me I’m not alone…