It’s fall now. The sun may feel bright and hot in the afternoon as I sit at the bus stop waiting for the kiddos to burst out of the bus and into my day again, but it is fall. The morning’s crispness reminds me of the fleetingness of the sun. This is a time when my thoughts turn inward a bit more as if even they need an extra layer of protection; a cardigan to ward off the chill, so to speak.
Today I was struck by the thought that I only turned my back for a moment…and then everything was different.
It was only a moment ago that my hair was dark, auburn in the sunshine instead of silvers and whites.
It was only a moment ago that my skin was young without the marks of time’s passages collecting at the corners of my eyes.
It was only a moment ago that the laundry was all washed and returned in neat folded stacks to the cedar scented drawers.
It was only a moment ago that the bathtub held days of bathing suits, dripping down the edge to puddle on the floor.
It was only a moment ago that the sun peeked through the gray clouds that fill the northwest’s skies.
It was only a moment ago that the bottom drawer held sippy cups and bibs.
It was only a moment ago that Oldest needed to hold my hand to navigate the stairs, the hallway, the world.
It was only a moment ago.
In a few weeks this too will be only a moment ago, replaced by whatever is filling my thoughts then. But for today, I catch my breath and pause. I pause and hold onto this moment.