The Cupcake is a Lie

Yesterday I woke from a dream that was so horrible that my whole day was wrecked because of it. In fact, I think I may still be a bit wrecked from it.

I use my smartphone as my alarm clock. I love that I have a whole slew of alarms for the whole slew of things I must keep track of in my world, things such as school busses and weekend versus weekday wake-ups. I love the red “snooze” button that greets me multiple times every morning as I attempt to eek out a few more moments of sleep.

Yesterday when my exhausted self was dragged back into reality, I reached over and did what I always do: I unplugged my phone, touched the snooze button, and tucked my phone under my pillow where it would be handy to hit the snooze button a few more times.  Which I apparently did. Except that as I hit the snooze button the second time (or perhaps it was the third time) I realized I was sad, very sad indeed.

Because when I hit the snooze button, no cupcake appeared.

You see, the cupcake is a lie.

Now first off, I am obviously referencing the world of Portal and so if you don’t know what that means, well, carry on as you do. If you do know that the $%^& cake is a lie, well, carry on as you do.

Anyhoo, when my alarm went off yesterday, it caught me in a rare state of dreaming. Most of my nights are too short for me to be in REM when the alarm goes off so this was a treat. Except that I was apparently dreaming about treats. Treats of the cupcake variety.

In my lovely little mind, the snooze button on my smartphone’s alarm was a cupcake dispensing button. Push snooze and voila! you’ve got yourself a cupcake to start your day off all lovely like.

How lovely of a dream is that?

Except in the way that dreams are, my lovely dream was also pretty weird. You see, I don’t particularly like cupcakes. Also, because I can’t eat gluten, I don’t eat cupcakes. (I’m sure there are good gluten-free cupcakes out there, I just don’t like cupcakes enough to go out and find them.)

So this whole lovely dream has me perplexed. Am I dreaming about something I secretly covet? Is my subconscious trying to out some aspect of my true personality that I’ve been hiding from myself? Or has my unconscious mind found a way of making the perfect cupcake – one with the filling in the middle like a miniature layer cake of cake-goodness?

All day I wandered about my kitchen, opening the cupboards and the refrigerator as if checking the contents for the eighth time would suddenly change them into cupcakes instead of pickles and left-over chicken drumsticks. And all day I wanted to eat cupcakes. I imagined the texture of the cake on my tongue, the sweetness of the icing perfectly complimenting the subtle flavors of the cake. I ate apples and carrot sticks and rice pilaf and peanut butter from a spoon, all in the hopes of silencing the wee voice in my head whispering “cupcake, cupcake, cupcake” over and over. 28,000 calories later and I still have the hankering for a cupcake.

I wonder what led me to dreaming about cupcakes. Was it an actual hunger for cake and icing? Or was it more of a wish that waking up for a new day would somehow reward me?

I think the cupcake is a lie. It isn’t a cupcake I really want dispensed…I want more time and more time filled with the things I really hanker for. I’m just not sure my smartphone can make that happen. But like all good dreamers, I’m willing to try.

What do you dream of, literally and figuratively? What would you do if you could get it simply by touching a button? What would you like your snooze button to dispense?

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4 thoughts on “The Cupcake is a Lie

  1. My snooze button would dispense chocolate, of course. Almost any form is acceptable.

    And I think “The Cupcake is a Lie” would make a great title for a book. 😉

  2. I agree with Linda–it would be a great title for a book.

    My snooze button would dispense gorgeous, tight lyrical sentences. LOL.

  3. Houses and buildings that are much bigger inside, winding halls and rooms, whole apartments, all part of one big house.

    Riding or driving some vehicle, often old, beat up, pieced together, Road paved or not, leading me to places light and dark. Often there will be a precipice for me and/or the vehicle, which may have turned into a living thing by the time of the fall. Sometimes the conveyance that got me to the place of falling will have morphed into a very specific person.

    I never miraculously grow wings. Only very rarely does anyone help me avoid falling. And I will and do fall, hundreds turning into thousands of feet, Sometimes I wake before I hit bottom, sometimes I let it play out – I always seem to be somewhere else before impact.

    Oh, & that thing about not dreaming until REM, near the end of one’s sleep cycle long after having gone to sleep? That doesn’t seem to necessarily hold true for me.

    I have, more than once, checked my watch, passed out, been dreaming deep into a story, been woken up, checked my watch and realized it was only five minutes after I last checked – before I went to sleep.

    Sometimes if a dream gets too unpleasant, I will figure out in the dream that it is a dream and tell myself to wake up. Then I do wake up. After one of those I’ll be greatly relieved. Sometimes I feel guilty for bailing when things got rough. I wonder if the others in my dream will have to finish without me.

    You lot! Yeah, over there. Yesss, You, Dream Time,

    Sorry, but that thing that was starting to happen? We can’t be having with that.

    I Might see you later, but don’t hold your breath. Oh, and pick up that third suite on the left, third floor, headed…towards the fountain. I didn’t make that mess and we still don’t know who owns the place, aye?

    Thanks, kristine

  4. Are you sure you were actually and not dreaming? Personally I find that delaying waking helps me cop ebetter with the early stages of being up and about.

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