I’ve Never Been Called Stylish Before

February 27th looms just ahead on my calendar, bringing to mind a wee factoid regarding the Oscars:  it’s all about the stylish dresses.  When faced with my physical factoids, it is apparent that I would be a nightmare to dress for the Oscars’ red carpet run.  Not only am I short but I’m a perfect Bosc Pear shaped kind of gal.  However, the biggest issue is that I am not a very stylish kind of gal.  It took Mister Soandso a good six months of harping to get me to ditch my wool socks with my Birkenstocks.  I’m still ignoring his rules about belts, btw.  Can you even imagine me pulling off some Versace number available only in a size two?  Um, no.

So you can picture my rather perplexed reaction at winning the Stylish Blogger award TWICE in one week.  Talk about a shocker.

Oh yeah, it’s about my writing NOT my appearance.  Okay, that makes more sense now.  After all, I’m typing this little missive in my jammies which give a nod to comfort and warmth at the expense of style.  Even I can tell the colors clash.  But I’m hoping to get all my commas in the right spots.  Or at least err intentionally.

Like all awards, there are rules for bestowing and rules for receiving the award of Stylish Blogger.  Too bad I’m such a poor rule follower.  Or to turn that on its head, I’m a fantastic rule breaker.  (Note my blogging outfit de jour consists of a turquoise sweat shirt, red with snow flakes jammie pants, and a pink tee-shirt, aka the mis-matched  sleeping attire previously mentioned.)

But I shall do my best.  After all, in addition to my many idiosyncrasies which make me such a fun coffee-tea-wine-Sidecar-you name it drinking kind of date, I am a people pleaser.  (Which I don’t recommend if you are a mom or a writer or a comedian because each is at times an unpleasable audience.)  So here goes nothing.

The Stylish Blogger Rules and Regulations:

1.  Thank the Stylish Blogger Award bestower and link back to their blogs.  (I’d like to thank the Academy, and my mom, my cat, and the following cool folk.)

  • My Twitter friend, Rick Lipman, writes at Coffee. Life. Love.  Give him a little love.
  • My Twitter friend, Kelly K., writes at Dances with Chaos.  Give her a little dance since she has enough chaos these days.

2.  Share seven little known things about yourself.  (Oh dear.  As the queen of “over-share” this will be a challenge.  Let me get some more coffee and come back to this.)

  • I can put the barefoot soles of my feet together (flat, no cheating now!) whilst keeping my knees together.
  • My favorite flowers are, in this order: tulips, lavender, roses.
  • I like to eat Oreo cookies spread with peanut butter.  Add chocolate ice cream and you have a DQ Blizzard guaranteed to bring on an orgasm. Well, as long as you aren’t allergic to nuts.
  • When I drink Coke, it makes me think of tequila and really bad hangovers.  When I drink Sprite, it makes me think of morning sickness.  Funnily, I prefer Pepsi and Dr. Pepper.
  • I once showed off my most private private parts while on stage.  Thank god I was 5 at the time and still had my panties on before stage-fright struck.
  • I like my steak medium rare, my hamburger well-done, my chicken roasted not fried, my bacon crispy, my salmon planked, my cookies chocolate, my candy non-fruited, my cake with ice cream, my coffee with real cream and sugar, my toast lightly buttered and my favorite sandwich is tuna with tomato and romaine on sourdough.
  • I read the last page or two of a book within a few chapters of starting, I like mysteries and smut but dystopians are often my fav.  I skip long paragraphs of description and I hate dialogue tags.
  • *Bonus: I once was in a body cast.  Not one person signed it. None. It was a perfect tabula rasa and I’m still a bit bitter over that, forty years later.
  • *Bonus Bonus:  I have been called The Random Ah and The Magnet for Disaster by folks.  They both fit me to a tee.

3.  Pass the award to 15, 10, 7, er, some number of other bloggers.  (Every winner of this award seems to adjust this rule as he/she sees fit.  Not sure how I feel about that.  Hmmm.)

4.  Contact your award recipients and let them know it’s time to break out their pencils and write their own acceptance speeches.

To be honest, I am really random in my blog love.  I actually like to just stumble upon folks.  I think that’s why I like Twitter so much.  People post stuff and I sometimes read it and sometimes love it.  Sometimes I just pour myself a glass of wine and pretend I’m in an alternant reality where my children can’t ask me to wipe their heinies.  So, expect much randomness.  As always.  Because I am the Random Ah as well as the Magnet for Disaster.

Alright, here’s my blog choices.

  1. Check out The Graveyard because Gary wields a tongue of, ahem, great barbedness. He’s also a nice guy to me, so find him enjoyable, okay?
  2. I love Linda Grimes.  Her blog, Visiting Reality, has been on my blog roll for a long  time.  She’s funny and kind and irreverent and is known for smoking a cigar.  In fact, she got me to smoke a cigar and I’ve never even met her in real life.  She’s that good.
  3. Those sage voices in your life that you are so glad to have found?  Here’s one of mine:  Kerry Schafer.  I hope she speaks to your heart like she does to mine.
  4. Some folks know that I’m a CrossFitter.  I love it and I love my CrossFit gym, Fort Vancouver even more.  Adam and the crew are the best.  Absolutely freaking best.  The stylish part mostly comes in how Adam is single-handedly changing people’s style through exercise. This isn’t a “true” blog, but what the heck.  I’m a rule breaker and all that.
  5. In addition, I want to give a shout out to Casey and Karen over at Purely Primal.  Great stuff about eating primal/Paleo.  Eating this way has changed my health.  Bottom line, it has eradicated some stuff I’ve been dealing with for over 20 years.  I don’t know about you, but feeling like hooey for 20 years is a long time.
  6. I like reading blogs that speak to my life as a writer.  There are bazillions of them out there and I spend gadzooks of time surfing them (shh!  don’t tell Mister Soandso because he thinks I’m working most of that time.)  However, some get me to return over and over.  Like Ev Maroon on Trans/plant/portation.  I’d love him even if he wasn’t such a great supportive friend.
  7. Most of you know I like to laugh.  A lot.  Which is why I like reading the Muffintopmommy.  She’ll make you laugh. Guaranteed.
  8. Another great funny mom blogging to maintain her sanity is Tracey Beckerman.  She’s a big wig and probably has more awards than Katharine Hepburn, but who doesn’t need to be made to feel stylish?  Besides, she has the same hairdo as me, so she is brilliant.  Read more about her over at Lost in Suburbia.  You won’t be sorry.
  9. However, I’m not only about the funny.  I’m also about other stuff.  Here’s a little gardening blog from across the pond.  I love all the photos and just how much love David Hamilton puts into his blog and his flora.  Check out Snappy’s Garden Blog and see for yourself.
  10. And because I wouldn’t have done most of the cool things in my life without her encouragement, check out Opera Buffo and see how cool Wendy is.

And there you have it.  One award filled day.  My coffee cup is empty, I’m still in my jammies and the Littlest is clamoring for my attention.  Be well and enjoy your weekend.  And read.  There’s lots and lots of things out there, go read them.

8 thoughts on “I’ve Never Been Called Stylish Before

  1. Awww. Funny and kind and irreverent? That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about me. Thanks! 🙂

    And I totally would have signed your body cast. Probably with something irreverent. Or even downright naughty. 😉

      • Oh, dear. I was trying to be a straight man and hoping you would come back with a witty line. I guess a body cast is a painful but necessary suppression of the body to make it heal, while a corset is a painful fetishistic suppression of the body to make it sexier. Now that I say this, I can hardly think of anything less sexy.

  2. You’re too nice. No, really, you’re way too nice. Barbedness is rather too subtle a description of what goes on in my blog, and people will probably be wondering just what you have let them in for… 🙂

  3. Sage? Oh dear. I’m much more likely to be inane. Or barbed. But I thank you kindly and I guess you’ve solved my dilemma of what to do for the next blog post, lol.

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