Am I a Hoarder or From the 80s?

I was cleaning out a cupboard the other day and came upon shocking evidence that I either have hoarder tendencies or that the 80s had a more lasting effect on my developing psyche than I had previously thought.  Although the two-year’s out-of-date pregnancy test was certainly a cry for more de-cluttering in my life (my husband’s vasectomy was over 5 years ago), it was the pile of cosmetics I came upon that made me pause and take a hard look at myself.  I guess I may not have fully recovered from growing up in the 70s and 80s.  (Otherwise known as the years we ladies thought of our eye-lids as “palettes” just begging to be adorned with metallics in blues and purples.)  We were “material girls” when it came to making ourselves look hawt.  Apparently, some of us required more material.

I would really like to think that we teens in the 80s weren’t laughingstock for the adults at the time, but I doubt it.  For example, here is a fairly low quality photo of me circa November, 1987.  That’s me at the Oregon coast and sporting about fifteen pounds of eyeshadow and Aqua Net.  Within a year, I’d toned it down quite a bit.  In fact, I’ve come so far from my 19-year old self that this is how most folks see my face these days.  Yep, that’s naked skin folks.  It isn’t like I’m trying to make some kind of statement to reflect my roots in the hippy-era. I just don’t have time to do much more than brush my teeth most days, so this is the new me.  My husband would appreciate any sympathy cards you might want to send his way.

But whilst cleaning out my cupboard, I came upon evidence that beating deep in my heart is still the soul of a Material Girl – to some extent at least.  And here’s the proof.

Here is what I typically use to “adorn” myself on a day that warrants a more pulled-together look than just soap.  (Who am I kidding, I only take one shower a month whether I need to or not.  There’s not even soap on that aging skin!)  In case you are confused, that’s a tube of mascara, some lip-stain and a pair of tweezers.  I only have one eyebrow.  And it’s centered on my forehead, damnit.  I usually apply chapstick throughout the day as well but forgot to take it out of my pocket for the picture. Oops.

And here’s what I add to the mix if I am serious about looking good.  Some cover-up, a little powder and some neutral eyeshadow. Wow, I am known to go overboard!  In fact, that is the basic make-up I wear for all my shows and even the photo-shoot that Amy of AJ’s Studio did for my headshots here and here on my blog.

So where am I going with all this free advertising for Almay, Covergirl, Maybelline, et cetera?  How about here?

Yes folks, that’s eighteen types of eye-shadow.  Six tubes of mascara. Six types of powder. Three tubes of foundation. (I don’t even wear foundation – ever.)  Fourteen variations of lip-gloss or lip stick. And the list goes on.

And remember what is currently on my face?  Nothing.  Not even chapstick.

I think it may be time to purge some of this stuff, don’t you?  Well, except for that Mary Kay lip gloss that I’ve been hoarding every since they discontinued it back in 2004.  Now that, that I’m holding onto.  Although I might think about putting some of it on one of these days.

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15 thoughts on “Am I a Hoarder or From the 80s?

  1. Science has brought us to the place where we can create entirely artificial selves, not only painted like plastic dolls by equipped with bionic reproductive organs.

    Without a doubt, our grandchildren will be androids with artificial emotions.

    • Oh dear. Now I’m going to have to Make Stuff Up. My favorite version of reality. I warn you though, I’m usually pretty creative. Let’s see, used toilet paper rolls… I’m going to have a good time with this. LOL!

    • I wish it had been natural. But alas, it was as unnatural as a dreaded spiral perm could be. That was short hair for me – imagine the agony of when I had my “past the bra-strap” hair permed. It’s a wonder I wasn’t yanked bald. 🙂 Good to see you sunshine!

  2. I think you look great in your 80’s pic… You were VERY ‘with it’ for the time. Out right totally awesome. I think nearly ALL of us mid-length to long hair with the perm and sky-high mall bangs. I did the crunchy wing-out sides too. Lots of mousse, gel, and hairspray. And if I say so myself… I rocked it!

    I think you’re absolutely beautiful now in your profile pick and in-person.

    I don’t think any woman – tween to the elderly needs to paint it on so we look like street-walkers, but I do wear a wee bit more… Having worked extensively with makeup, neutrals really are the way to go. And a dark lip stain if the gal can pull it off.

    Here’s to the natural look. 80’s fashion and make-up were *fun* at the time, but let’s keep ’em there.

    Nothin’ like seeing a 40-yr-old *trying* to rock some ‘jeggings’ or sportin’ too low-waisted jeans with major muffin-top, to make me stick to my Not Your Daughter’s Jeans. Spanx are my friend.

    Cheers! See ya on the stage!

    ~ Dana

  3. It is hilarious what we hold onto! I love your pregnancy test confession. Surely my diaphragm is expired after a decade-long dry spell. I, too, have Mary Kay goodies. Seems somehow disrespectful to the wonderful woman who sold them to me. And I NEVER knew the right way to wear make-up. I love your 80’s picture, too!

  4. Pingback: Resisting the Overshare « Ten Minute Missive

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