You May Already Be A…Dachshund!

I’ll admit I haven’t had much coffee yet today, which is probably why “random” seems to be how I’m rolling.  Sorry ’bout that folks.  Of course, some of you might be wondering just how this is any different than usual.  And to you I say, “Hmm, you could be onto something.”  So, here’s some things that have come to mind in the 2 short hours I’ve been awake and inhaling the coffee (fumes).

  • National Lampoon and Gary Larson apparently played a significant role in my formative years.  In fact, they are playing a role in my children’s lives since goofy little quips find their way into my daily vernacular.  I mean, don’t you find yourself mumbling “You may already be a wiener!” every time you get the Hebrew National out of the refrigerator?  And you can bet your sweet britches that every time I P.U.S.H. instead of P.U.L.L. at a door handle I at least think Midvale“.  Of course, Larson’s cartoon has been bastardized a bit for me.  (BTW, that isn’t a bad word, it just sounds like one.)  I am an alum of Pacific University Oregon and an edited version of the Midvale classic circulated campus my freshman year.  I probably even still have it around here; you know, trapped in a box with all the other crap from those early years that I once thought I couldn’t live without.
  • I actually am a wiener!  Ahem, winner!  More info coming, but suffice it to say for now that I just won a blog contest.  Holey pantyhose Batman!  I hardly ever win anything, unless you count the “Mother of the Year” award.  (That’s sarcasm, folks.)  So, if you’re curious, come back SOON for more deets. (Which is like saying details but evidences my cool and hip self.  Almost as much as if I’d typed “the 411”.  See, I’ve got my thumb on the pulse of the current.  But dear gawd, why?  I’m old I tell you, old.)  But, if you’re really, really curious, I’ve left a clue somewhere on my blog.  Of course, in order to find it,  you’d have to be a super sleuth.

I like dogs.  I especially like dogs that make my life simple.  Like this little guy.  Doesn’t he look like he’d make my life a more simpler place?  I mean, he (his name is Bisou which is French for “kiss”) looks like the perfect little “fallen-food-inhaler” and “miniature-pooper-of-miniature-poops”.  (In case you are the editorial type, or just a noticer of stuff, I can’t figure out how to keep the bullet point from overlaying on Bisou’s picture.  And that just seemed kind of disturbing, so I unbulleted this part.  Get over it.  I mean, it’s for Bisou!)  I bring up Bisou’s adorableness because my own adorable pooch, Charlie, has quite a bit in common with Bisou.  Namely, he’s got eyebrows, eyes, legs, ears, tail, et cetera.  Yep, not much else.  As in Charlie won’t eat anything short of filet mignon off the floor, poops out small continents, is the reverse colors of Bisou and we don’t know what he is.  Oh, we know he’s a dog, but not what kind of dog.  I take Charlie places and the first thing people notice (well, besides that I’ve left the house in mismatched shoes again) is that Charlie is beautiful.  Then they ask me what he is.  Then the whole long, boring, rather sad story starts all over again that culminates with me pointing out that most folks who dump dogs on the street somehow neglect to dump their pedigrees with them.  HOWEVER, I will soon be able to unveil Charlie’s heritage.  Or, perhaps I should say that the price finally got right and we had Charlie DNAed.  My guess?  I think Charlie is a Rhodesian Ridgeback crossed with a Whippet.  What do you think?  Should I have my first ever contest?  Hmm.  Perhaps I could send the winning guess a bag of Charlie’s best work?  Hey Bueller, whatcha think?  I suppose to aid your guesses, I should post a pic of my pooch.  🙂 Oh, and in case you are perplexed, no he isn’t part Hellhound — his eyes don’t really glow that weird white color.  What can I say?  It turned out to not be Charlie’s best Kodak moment.  I can also say, I’m thinking Charlie is not going to turn out to be a dachshund.  But I guess weirder things have happened.

  • But hey, if you’re reading this, you really already are a wiener!  oops, winner, in my book!  Thanks for dropping by.  I just hope you weren’t having a Charlie moment and hoping to find dropped filet mignon, seeing as how I’m more of a “ground beef” gal on these days’ paycheck.
  • Now if you’ll excuse me, the coffee pot beckons.  And I cannot disappoint my mistress caffeine.

 

ps. We now know that Charlie is actually a Greyhound-Boxer cross. Yes, I did that whole genetic testing thingamajigger once it became a bit more financially feasible. Charlie has some health “issues” that are typical Boxer issues and knowing his actual genetics was helpful for us in making plans for his health care. 

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2 thoughts on “You May Already Be A…Dachshund!

  1. Oh you’re in trouble, sister! My 5 year old just came up to me as I was reading this and now he wants a dog thanks to the cute pics!!! 🙂

  2. Uh-oh. I’m in the doghouse now! I do have to admit this urge to get another pet. (Like the poop and food needs of the 11 I currently have don’t send me ’round the bend fast enough!) I am actually more of a cat person, but Pepper (the cat) would freak out big time. So, I’m in the “look but don’t touch” mode. 🙂

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