Prime Real Estate

So, I don’t know about the state of your kitchen, but my particular “state of the nation” is really all about some of the most prime real estate on the planet.  As in the 4 inches of space on the front of the counters and shelves in the refrigerator.  Every time I walk into my kitchen to do anything more complicated than pour a cup of coffee, I am reminded that what I want my world to look like is far, far from what it actually looks like.  Even more depressing is that I have come to see that the state of my kitchen pretty much mirrors the state of my life in general.

On a good day, I get up to a tidy kitchen.  All the dishes are done, the accouterment of life is absent from the kitchen counters, and the floor is clean.  Of course, I am so dang sleep deprived from having stayed up to 3 am to accomplish such a feat that I cannot truly appreciate the wonder of my kitchen.  But I know what it feels like – it has happened maybe 8 times in my life.  Mostly, the dishes may be done, but the counters are still a mess.  Or the counters are clean, but there is a 10 inch stack of children’s art and daily assignments.  And forget the floor.  I have 3 kids and a dog. A dog with standards.  Whoever heard of such a thing?

Like I said, that’s a good day.  I don’t have many good days in my life.  Like if there are 365 days, something like 5 of them are good.  That leaves a whole lotta days when I just kindof shake my head and sigh.

But the real kicker is that if the kitchen actually looks clean, all a person has to do is open the fridge and then the true nature of my life is on display for all.  It’s not just that at any given time I’ve got a science experiment growing and something turning into a green soup in a baggie.  No, it’s that everyone, including myself, uses the front few inches of the shelves.  Things just get shoved in and whatever is languishing in the back gets ready to languish some more.  Sheesh.  Who knows what is really in there.

That’s my life in a quick little visual.  Chaos-filled and largely forgotten.  I really need to be on whichever reality television show would fix this – but I need the show that doesn’t include a bus pulling away but has some lovely Mrs. Doubtfire-type moving in and just taking over caring for the prime real estate in my house.

Now that is a good idea.