Holy smokes, the things that folks do to themselves in the name of a good time. I ran across this article tonight and was struck by two immediate needs: clench my thighs together and start writing. What in the name of anything worth shouting were these two thinking!!! Apparently things need some “shaking up” down in Lexington Park, MD because the late twentysomethings are implementing power tools in ways not endorsed by Norm Abram.
Two suggestions: If your sex life is in that dire need of spicing up and you are only 27, you might need to invest in some couples counseling instead of a saber saw and an adult toy. And, if you seriously thought this was a good idea, you worry me. Greatly.
Seriously, what woman in her right mind would say to herself or to her partner, “Hey, here’s a good idea. Let’s put a dildo on a saber saw blade and get busy!” Or, perhaps more or less disturbing depending on how you look at it, “Um, sure honey. Sounds like a great idea. Just remember our ‘safe word’.” Yeah, in this case it was “Dear God, dial 9-1-1!”
Okay, perhaps I’m just too damn old to see how you would get yourself willingly into this predicament. These relative kids should save a few more pennies and get a better model; although, perhaps they don’t have vibrating dildos in Maryland?
Alright, that is enough of this. My thighs can’t take this kind of workout. I’m still cringing and clenching my thigh so tightly that I may have given myself a charlie horse.
Another reason to stop reading the news!