Ten Minute Missive

I was cleaning out a cupboard the other day and came upon shocking evidence that I either have hoarder tendencies or that the 80s had a more lasting effect on my developing psyche than I had previously thought.  Although the two-year’s out-of-date pregnancy test was certainly a cry for more de-cluttering in my life (my husband’s vasectomy was over 5 years ago), it was the pile of cosmetics I came upon that made me pause and take a hard look at myself.  I guess I may not have fully recovered from growing up in the 70s and 80s.  (Otherwise known as the years we ladies thought of our eye-lids as “palettes” just begging to be adorned with metallics in blues and purples.)  We were “material girls” when it came to making ourselves look hawt.  Apparently, some of us required more material.

I would really like to think that we teens in the 80s weren’t laughingstock for the adults at the time, but I doubt it.  For example, here is a fairly low quality photo of me circa November, 1987.  That’s me at the Oregon coast and sporting about fifteen pounds of eyeshadow and Aqua Net.  Within a year, I’d toned it down quite a bit.  In fact, I’ve come so far from my 19-year old self that this is how most folks see my face these days.  Yep, that’s naked skin folks.  It isn’t like I’m trying to make some kind of statement to reflect my roots in the hippy-era. I just don’t have time to do much more than brush my teeth most days, so this is the new me.  My husband would appreciate any sympathy cards you might want to send his way.

But whilst cleaning out my cupboard, I came upon evidence that beating deep in my heart is still the soul of a Material Girl – to some extent at least.  And here’s the proof.

Here is what I typically use to “adorn” myself on a day that warrants a more pulled-together look than just soap.  (Who am I kidding, I only take one shower a month whether I need to or not.  There’s not even soap on that aging skin!)  In case you are confused, that’s a tube of mascara, some lip-stain and a pair of tweezers.  I only have one eyebrow.  And it’s centered on my forehead, damnit.  I usually apply chapstick throughout the day as well but forgot to take it out of my pocket for the picture. Oops.

And here’s what I add to the mix if I am serious about looking good.  Some cover-up, a little powder and some neutral eyeshadow. Wow, I am known to go overboard!  In fact, that is the basic make-up I wear for all my shows and even the photo-shoot that Amy of AJ’s Studio did for my headshots here and here on my blog.

So where am I going with all this free advertising for Almay, Covergirl, Maybelline, et cetera?  How about here?

Yes folks, that’s eighteen types of eye-shadow.  Six tubes of mascara. Six types of powder. Three tubes of foundation. (I don’t even wear foundation – ever.)  Fourteen variations of lip-gloss or lip stick. And the list goes on.

And remember what is currently on my face?  Nothing.  Not even chapstick.

I think it may be time to purge some of this stuff, don’t you?  Well, except for that Mary Kay lip gloss that I’ve been hoarding every since they discontinued it back in 2004.  Now that, that I’m holding onto.  Although I might think about putting some of it on one of these days.